¹  Make a cup of coffee

²  Walk to the other side of your kitchen

³ Wait 40 seconds, then take a step

⁴  Wait 2 minutes*, then take a step

⁵  Repeat until you reach your cup

⁶  Take one sip of the coffee

⁷  Pour it out

⁸  Repeat process

*  Annoying, right?

I wish they would just make up their mind and order already

¹  Source your ingredients

Egg

Microwaved Bacon^*
Hard Roll ^&

Cheese ^$

²  Make your egg^% sandwich

³ Wait 2 minutes

⁴  Go to your bathtub and turn on the shower head

⁵  Sit on the rim of the tub

⁶  Take one sip of the coffee

⁷  While eating, let your back get sprinkled

^*two days old
^&moldy areas removed
^$dealers choice
^%burnt and sneezed on

¹  Find some cardboard<sup>°

2</sup>  Create three 24”(w) x 32”(h) sheets

³ Arrange the sheets into a three panel display<sup>§

4</sup>  Place the display on the table around your bowl

⁵  Begin eating

⁶  Don’t look up until you have finished

^° from your latest Amazon order^¢
¢ when you crossed the picket line
^§ science fair display

¹  Go to your bathroom

²  Look in the mirror

³ Tell yourself,    

“I’ll have the regular”

¹  Make portions for two

²  Bring your table outside

³ Position half of the table and one chair on the sidewalk

⁴  Set the table

⁵  Wait

⁶  Quietly focus on why they didn’t show up

⁷  Order dessert to-go

¹  Make a bag of popcorn

²  Walk through your neighborhood

³ Scan the ground floor windows

⁴  Look for the flickering of a TV

⁵  Enjoy the show